Dedicated to my Grandma Sandy

My grandma Sandy, had the biggest influence on me. She wasn’t like most grandmas. She was strong and always stood up for what she believed in. She told the truth with kindness and encouraged everyone to do their best. She raised five boys and loved her family deeply. Every week, she called each of us to check in and talk. She really held our family together. I remember Christmas when the house was packed with uncles and cousins, and Thanksgiving dinners where she cooked a full meal with turkey, all the sides, and her homemade cheesecake. The next morning, she’d be up early making us breakfast and turkey slop from the leftovers. Her table was always full of food and conversation. She taught me how to play rummy and even made my graduation cake.

My grandma’s strength really showed when things got hard. After my grandfather left, she had to take care of five young boys on her own. Money was tight, but she worked long hours to keep food on the table and pay the bills. She rarely talked about how tough it was. Raising her boys alone wasn’t common back then, but she did it. Her home was always open to anyone who needed it. When my dad lost our home in third grade, she took us in. My cousins felt like brothers and sisters to me. I miss those days sometimes.

When I was young, my grandma Sandy was always there for me. I knew I could count on her. As a kid, I leaned on her for love and support because my home life wasn’t very stable. I love my parents, but I’m not close to either of them. Sometimes, I felt like an afterthought. My mom wasn’t very nurturing and kept her love to herself. My dad was distant and hard to reach emotionally. Growing up like this made me feel lonely, and I sometimes wondered if something was wrong with me. Over time, I realized I couldn’t change how others showed love, but I could choose how I responded. I learned to be resilient and to look for the love I needed, often turning to my grandma. Working through these feelings taught me self-worth and helped me become more compassionate toward others who face similar struggles. It shaped who I am, even though it took a lot of work.

My grandma was always there for me and welcomed me with open arms. No matter what was happening at home, I knew I could count on her for support. I could talk to her about anything, and she would listen without judging. She filled the gaps where I felt unloved. I remember when my mom and I had big arguments that left me feeling alone. After a fight, my mom would call family members and tell her side first, sometimes exaggerating so others would see her as the victim. It hurt to think people might believe those things about me. At those times, I didn’t have much of a relationship with my dad, which made me feel even more alone. But my grandma made a difference. She never took sides right away. She would call me, let me share my feelings, and really listen. She only advised if I wanted it, and she tried to help my mom and me talk things out. Knowing my grandma would always listen helped me get through those tough times and reminded me that someone truly cared.

Looking back, I realize my grandma’s way of handling conflicts taught me the importance of listening to people and not judging too quickly. Because of her, I try to give others space to share their side, especially when there’s tension or disagreement. I’m more patient and understanding in my relationships now, and I do my best to make others feel heard, just like she did for me. Her example still guides me and helps me be a more caring friend and family member, even when things are hard.

My grandma meant so much to me. I couldn’t have asked for a better one, especially when I was writing Where the Flames Took Her. So much of her is in that book. The character inspired by her has the same fierce love, honesty, and strength my grandma showed. The scenes where the character opens her home to others come straight from my grandma’s stories and the way she lived. In the book, my character takes someone in and raises them as her own, just like my grandma did for one of my cousins. I wanted readers to feel the warmth and resilience I felt with her. I also wanted to dedicate my book to her, even though she’s no longer here, because I know she would be proud. I miss her every day and think of her often.